7 August 2015

Advice

Feeding Advice for Urban Foxes

We urban foxes have numerous possible food sources. Dustbins and wheelie bins are of course a rich traditional source of nutrition for the vulpine community as our human neighbours throw away a lot of perfectly edible food. We can also scavenge behind supermarkets and other food shops where so much tasty stuff is thrown away day after day.

Fresh food is of course highly desirable. I have lost count of the number of chickens I have liberated from wire mesh hen runs. My favourite wild bird is a big fat wood pigeon. Delicious and relatively easy to catch if you are as cunning as I am. You hide in the shadows of a bush and then pounce quickly upon the stupid pigeon from behind. I have also been known to sink my teeth into unsuspecting pet cats but am not fond of fur or their needle-like talons.

Recently I have been developing a new technique in which I have targeted a particular middle aged couple whose cubs have gone. They occupy a semi-detached house in the southern suburbs of Sheffield and have a big rambling garden at the rear. At approximately six o' clock each evening, I lie on their lawn and wait till I see one of them at their kitchen window.

At this point I stand up and look directly at them, tilting my head appealingly  to one side. I make my eyes as soulful as possible and let my tongue loll from my bottom jaw as if to say "Please feed me! I'm starving!" It took a few days for my plan to work but after a while they got my message and they are now well-trained.
The bloke now even buys me dog food from the supermarket! When he opens the kitchen door and steps out into the garden, I pretend that I am a bit nervous and tiptoe behind the bracken. He puts the food on the lawn and returns indoors. Then I step out of my hiding place and gobble up whatever has been left for me. If I have already eaten, I take the food away to my various hiding places. After all, it is always nice to have a midnight supper!

If you are patient and follow my method you will establish a reliable food source that will see you through the hard days of winter. Humans are very gullible and so with just a little foxy behaviour it is easy to manipulate them. However, you must choose the humans you target with extreme care as a few  of them have a peculiar aversion to foxes. They are known as vulpophobics and might charge at you frothing at the mouth with a garden fork clasped in their hands.

Best wishes,
Fred Fox

24 comments:

  1. Dear Yorkie, good to hear that you are highly trainable ,... I love this post and the photos. The last photo is wonderful with the sheep and lamb in the background.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm glad Fred has you well-trained, Yorky. You're a quick learner; and he's a good teacher. It didn't take him long to figure you out! lol

    Good on you! My heart is warmed...and Fred's tummy is full. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. By the way...I love the pics! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I bet that you would also be very trainable Lee - say if there was an abandoned baby joey in your yard.

      Delete
    2. For sure! I'm easily trainable...I'm the biggest sook, softie out, Yorky! lol Just ask my family of birds that hang around my cabin for their daily afternoon hand-outs! :)

      Delete
    3. Beware! Have you seen Hitchcock's "The Birds" Lee?

      Delete
    4. My birds like me too much to attack me, Yorky! Hey! They sing at my front door in thanks. :)

      Delete
  4. Before you know it, Fred will be claiming social security and using your address.

    Ms Soup

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am a bit concerned about going on holiday in case he gets in and locks us out.

      Delete
  5. It won't be long before you are taking it walks with you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That would be even cooler and far more macho than having a couple of muddy Westies in tow!

      Delete
  6. I love Fred! He's such a crafty, handsome old boy. He's got you trained for sure!

    He'll be in your house napping by the fire in no time! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Before that happens he'll have to have a visit to the vet's for a thorough examination.

      Delete
  7. These are good Fox News indeed!
    Looking forward to seeing much more of Fred, for instance snoozing on your favourite armchair, the remote within reach...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whooa! NOBODY but me gets to hold that remote Miss Meike! Even Shirley knows she mustn't fiddle with it when I am around.

      Delete
  8. Most people say "don't feed wildlife" but I disagree. This fox now has a territory and will keep gophers, rats, mice, and any other little unwelcome guests away. Neighborhood cats probably won't pee in your garden. It sounds like a good arrangement to me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are probably right Jan but we don't have any gophers in Great Britain... apart from younger members of staff in offices!

      Delete
  9. You know, they sell raw, frozen food for your dogs/foxes in pet shops. Expensive, but for your best friend.......

    I can just see you now walking on the hills and plains with your faithful companion on a leash beside you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fred seems to like the cheapest stuff from discount suoermarkets but I also put out chicken carcasses, lamb bones and uneaten fish. Do you think he might enjoy a tossed green salad? I haven't told Shirley yet but I am going to invite Fred into our house when the first frosts of winter arrive. He can watch "Fox News" on our TV and sleep between us. I hope he doesn't snore.

      Delete
  10. I'm smiling from ear to ear at this post, Foxy is no longer lean, but quite a handsome fella, and he seems to think well of your social skills Mr. Pud.
    ~Jo

    ReplyDelete
  11. Im still learning from you, but Im trying to achieve my goals. I certainly love reading everything that is written on your site.Keep the tips coming. I loved it! Daniel, yea I can see what you probably did there. Intellux I really favored that part, however hehe I am not that harsh like my dad with these things. He all the time tells me loopy stories again within the day and calls me a loser. I assume it is time I move out of my mother and father basement LOL. Aaanyways, what about you? what does your dad think xD Anyway, in my language, there will not be a lot good supply like this.http://www.healthcaresups.com/intellux/


    ReplyDelete
  12. I have been searching for this information for quite some times. About three hours of online searching, at last I found it in your blog. Intellux I wonder why Yahoo dont display this kind of good websites in the first page. Usually the top search engine results are full of rubbish. Perhaps its time to use another search engine.http://www.supplements4help.com/intellux/

    ReplyDelete

Mr Pudding welcomes all genuine comments - even those with which he disagrees. However, puerile or abusive comments from anonymous contributors will continue to be given the short shrift they deserve. Any spam comments that get through Google/Blogger defences will also be quickly deleted.